Ah nothing takes the fun out of dismemberment and decapitations like getting the flu. A whole week of cherry flavored drug induced fever dreams, everything covered in bile and snot, chicken soup, and a healthy dose of horror films. Oh but the horror stops for no one. Not even you.
A sickly Violet Strychnine laying in her deathbed to cough you up an acrid dose of vile vapor action. Ever wonder what it feels like to have parasites living under your skin. Laying thousands of eggs that hatch into thousands of hungry worms that putrefy your flesh as they eat their way out. I think about it all the time. Or perhaps you are flying on an airplane that is recycling the tainted air coughed up by someone with a flesh eating, eye melting virus. That person is probably sitting right next to you. Eating his peanuts and hacking them into a vomit bag. That's exacly why I don't fly.
Anywho, here's a few films that make me want to hand sanitize everything that comes near me. If you need me, I'll be in my plastic bubble.
[Rec] - A 2007 Spanish film about an apartment building filled with "infected" people who want to eat your face off. A television reporter goes in and gets more than a feel good kitty story. Remade in the states as Quarantine (which I actually liked as well).
[Rec 2] - The 2009 sequel. Same thing but this time it's a medical professional and a swat team that goes int he "infected" building. Still no feel good kitten stories. Also very good. Quarantine 2 was different this time around and takes place in an airplane terminal. (Not quite as good but still enjoyable).
28 Days Later - 2002 masterpiece directed by Danny Boyle, starring the handsome Cillian Murphy. People get bit by monkeys. People get upset (the rage). England goes ape shit and eats each other. A military guy has a really bad haircut and Cillian and friends escape to the Shire.
28 Weeks Later - The 2007 sequel. England feels better. Then it gets sick again because of some pesky kids. America tries to kill everyone but the pesky kids kill the rest of the world.
The Divide - a 2011 film about nuclear plague. A basement full of jerks kill each other and start to lose their minds (and their good looks). A Lady goes for a swim in a sewer. Fingers get cut off.
Shivers - The 1975 film by David Cronenberg in which a parasitic virus turns people into sex crazed fiends wanting to infect each other by giving them slobbery wet kisses. There were no breath mints or mouthwash to be found. Oh the horror!
Rabid - The 1977 Cronenberg film about bad flesh gone wrong. Turns out that the experimental surgery after Rose's motorcycle crash has given her a taste for blood. She has a sip and her victims go mad and need to kill, kill, kill! Stay away from her armpit!!!
Anyways, my precious parasites. Only 9 more days until Halloween. Make sure to hold your breathe and keep all of your holes closed to keep the bugs out. xoxo
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