Sorry, All of Our Operators are Dead.

That's right ladies and germs.  Do you want to be taunted and berated in the privacy of your own home?  Well now all you have to do it is dial 976-SCUM.  That's right, one of our highly skilled operators will assist you in making you feel terrible about yourself.  Only $71.99 a minute.  Mistress Violet Strychnine here with another prick of pointy petulance.  I remember a ways back when Freddy Krueger had his own 976 number.  Hell, in the 80s almost everybody had a 976 number.  "Hmmm, I wonder what Freddy Krueger is up to today.  Let's give him a call!"  I found out the hard way (calling like 30 times) that it was indeed only a recording, not an actual live conversation with Freddy. I suppose he was just too busy making the 1988 film 976-EVIL starring one of my favorite nerds ever Stephen Geoffreys (Evil from Fright Night).  Don't you just love films when the nerds get their revenge?  Well, this poor mommas boy get possessed through a 976 "horrorscope" number and goes on a killing rampage.  How's that for revenge?  Oh, and his face gets all squishy and squirty.  12 days of Halloween left my gooey little gremlins.  Remember, when you sell your soul to Satan make sure you get some makeup and a scarf.  A mushy scabby face is not pretty.