Pig Farmer.

I tried to grow a garden once.  I just don't seem to be able to keep things alive.  My Venus fly traps hated me so much they ate themselves.  Now what am I going to do with all these tse tse flies I ordered for them?  Perhaps I'll bring them over to my neighbor.  She's always complaining that her house is being infested by spiders (she gives me filthy looks and says they're probably coming from my castle but I highly doubt my spiders would want to live in a cream colored house).  Perhaps if I release the flies in her house the spider will be happily fed and much less of a nuisance.  Anyhow, Mistress Violet Strychnine here with another pig trough full of spoiled innards.  I am the furthest thing you will ever find from a farm girl.  I hate farms.  I know what these creepy farmers really do all secluded with their pigs.  Animal rape, corn demon worship, and cannibalism.  Every farmer does at least one of those things if not all of them.  Here's proof:  The 1980 barnyard film Motel Hell.  It turns out that in his spare time, farmer Vincent makes jerky and sausages out of traveling rock bands.  He also likes to run around his farm with a chainsaw while wearing a decapitated pigs head.  It takes all kinds of critters... to make Farmer Vincents fritters.  Three days left of Halloween my little oozing sores.  xoxo